Traveling to My Past – Where the Hell I’ve Been
Things have been rather quiet here on the blog and on Instagram this past couple of months. I want to assure you that all is well… I’ve just been traveling to my past. As such, this post has nothing to do with our old house, but it does involve old things, and I promise there will be old house awesomeness coming in the next few months.
So, where have I been while traveling to my past? Well…. Not in Philadelphia to start with. Let me back up a bit first. Since my mom passed a couple of years ago, my father has been living alone in their apartment in Sacramento. Things were okay, he was adjusting to his new life without her just fine, but then the pandemic arrived last year. This is when things began to change.
The first few months were stressful for him as he was isolated alone in his apartment getting his groceries and other needs delivered. By June he began to get out of the house making weekly trips to pick up curb-side groceries and indulge in his favorite fast food, Chipotle.
Then in late July, he had a fall in the Chipotle parking lot, which led to another fall a few days lather at home in the middle of the night. Fortunately, he able to call for help using his Apple Watch (which Yoav and I had gifted him with for his birthday only a few months earlier).
Those two falls in the course of a few days changed everything for him. He had to stop driving and he had to start using a walker to get around. All the while I felt helpless because the pandemic was keeping us apart. As an only child, I am the only person he has at this point (other than his older sister who has her own health issues). I vowed that as soon as we were both vaccinated, I would drive to Sacramento to see him.
Finally, in late April, both of us vaccinated, I fueled up the CR-V and set out alone on the longest drive of my life, just over 3,000 miles. It took eight days with stops in Cleveland, St Louis, Emporia KS, Denver, Salt Lake City, and finally Reno, before arriving in Sacramento. I got to add Missouri and Kansas to my list of visited states (I don’t count the unexpected ten mile stretch of West Virginia while driving I-70 from Pennsylvania to Ohio although I did stop to pee on West Virginia soil).
I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I arrived. I knew that his mobility was limited and that he was using a walker. I knew he was getting help several times a week from a friend. And I knew he was spending huge amounts of time alone in his apartment with nothing more than his iPad and the TV to keep him company. When I arrived, I found his sitting quietly in the dark. It turns out that he can’t easily reach the wand to open the blinds and has been spending a lot of time in the dark. So, the first thing I did was open the blinds.
[Image: Dad’s storage locker was filled with 30+ years of paperwork and other random things. It took two full weeks to sort through it all.]
On a phone call with him last fall, I mentioned that we would welcome him to come to live near us in Philadelphia. He initially bristled at the idea. He has lived in the Sacramento area since 1944, and change does not come easily. As soon as I arrived, it became clear that he could no longer live alone. He needed to move into an assisted living situation regardless of where it was. It took some time, but he came around to not just the the idea of moving into assisted living, but doing it near us in Philadelphia.
[Image: Dad and me, yesterday, on Fathers Day.]
There is still much to do, and it will be the second week of July before I can get on the long road home, but I am so very looking forward to it.
[Image: Here I am at age 20 in the 1980’s. I loved my JVC boom-box… And our family dog Buddy.]
[Image: My Great Great Grandparents, Brownhill and Hattie circa 1880’s]
Here is a slideshow of a few more pictures I stumbled across this past few weeks.
About five years ago, my parents downsized from the big house of 35 years to a two bedroom apartment located just over a mile from the house I grew up in. This means that my daily walks (428 days and counting) have taken me into my old neighborhood and even down streets I have not been on since the early 1980s. I have also walked by the house I grew up in on several occasions. To be honest, it is all a bit surreal. On the upside, the neighborhood has held up fairly well and many of the houses look better than ours.
[Image: This is the house I grew up in. I remember helping to plant the Italian Cypress tree’s in our backyard in the mid 70′. I have been walking by it frequently on my daily walks this past seven weeks.]
[Image: Ross from Restoring Ross and I in front of the Cross House.]
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What a great adventure!!! If you need help with assistant living places, let me know. I have family in the area. Xo
Thanks Beth! 🥰
I may reach out to you.
I come here for the old house stuff, but even when you don’t have any, I still find your posts interesting to read. I hope your fathers move goes well and that you find a good place for him. Looking forward to what’s next with future house updates.
Hi Wayne, haven’t seen you in a while. I am so looking forward to getting back to the house projects. Hang tight… They are coming. 😊😊
Yes, I immediately thought of the Cross House. Post more pictures sometime, if you can.
I have three sisters and it’s still hard to help our mother and to clear out their big house when they needed to move to a place without stairs. Be sure to face time while you’re working. It’s too lonely doing it by yourself.
I accumulate stuff and get rid of stuff but this past I accumulated more than I donated. Just finished “The Swedish Method of Death Cleaning” and will read Marie Kondo next. I’m learning to pass up treasures. At 70, it’s harder to care for stuff and I don’t want to anymore.
Take care of yourselves. Lots of emotionally difficult work and relocation is hard on our mental health.
Peace. Cindi
🥰 Nice to hear from you Cindi.
FaceTime (and Zoom) is hugely helpful with staying in touch. As for being alone, my introvert skills come in handy during such times. 😂😂
Glad you are doing OK. And glad you got to go to Emporia! What fun! Cleaning out a family place is truly surreal. I am glad you have the time to do it properly and get to enjoy the thinking that comes along with sorting through the past.
😊😊 The stop in Emporia was a blast. It’s always fun to meet internet friends you’ve known indirectly for years.
I’m also grateful for the time to be able to sort through the past.
Wishing you safe travels! Can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to/planning for your house, but very glad you’re able to take this time to help your dad live more comfortably.
Thank you Caitlin. ☺️☺️
I am very much looking forward to getting back to work on the house. I’ve had quite a few ideas pop up this past several years.
Also thankful to spend this time with Dad. 🙏🏼
Hi Devyn, I really enjoyed your info about the travels back to your childhood home and how you lovingly packed him up with his belongings to come to Philly and find a new AS home for him nearby. I love the photo of the two of you.
My life has changes just like that in about a month I have gone from presumably healthy to blood clots heart issue. Swollen stomach wcancer and ladies parts with cancer. I am trying chemo with 3 weeks in between Well u just don’t know what life throws out at u. Wanted to share this with you cause I know u had cancer. May God bless you and your wife .I always love your Blog. ❤️❤️Karen
Thanks Karen 😊😊
So sorry to hear about the cancer. My experience with Chemo wasn’t as bad as most, but it surely did wear me out. I hope you manage it well and are able reverse the progression. Sending virtual hugs 🤗 and bunnies 🐰
I love reading everything you write. I hope your dad makes an easy transition.
Thank you ☺️☺️
Just catching up here. Dad is safe and sound at our house. I’m headed back to California as I type this.
Looking forward to getting back home in a few weeks.
I love the picture of you and Ross in front of the gorgeous Cross House. I admire what you have accomplished with your father’s things. We went through that a few years ago with my mother’s things and I am still dealing with her files covering 20 years of our family’s genealogical research (more than a few people from Scotland to Ireland to the US). I have been sorting through my own stuff ever since.
Hi Devyn, glad to read from you. I hope your father will adapt well to his new life, from Westside to Eastside, and into an assisted living home. Older people are strong and resourceful. A friend of mine just had his mom fly from South Africa to live in France with him, she’s 82. Well loved and cared for by their child, i hope it’ll ease the transition.
As soon as I read Emporia, KS, i thought of Ross. I’ve been checking his blog daily for a few years now, it’s amazing that you could finally visit him and his Cross House. Good luck for the trip forth and back between Philly and Sacramento.
Greetings from France